People who practice self-compassion are LESS likely to isolate themselves during times of stress or difficulty. They’re also more likely to engage in healthy behaviors.
Vulnerable is the new strong.
Is your self-critical voice making most of your life decisions for you?
Fortunately for people who struggle with being too hard on themselves, self-compassion is a skill that can be learned. Classes are now forming in KC for the empirically supported Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program, created by Drs. Chris Germer and Kristin Neff. Bring along your curiosity, a courageous attitude, and discover what happens when you learn to relate with your difficulties in a new way.
Mindful Self-Compassion is a 8-week skill-building program which can serve as an antidote to the harm we often do ourselves through habitual behaviors which burn us out, degrade our health, create disconnection between us and our loved ones, and drain the joy out of our lives. The skills you'll learn in the MSC program serve as the first steps toward relating with yourself in a kinder way. And because its effects are dose-dependent, the more we train the brain in self-compassion (as with practicing any new skill), the greater the gains.
Self-compassion is selfish.
Because people who practice self-compassion can tend to many of their own needs independently, they are able to focus more on the wellbeing of the others in their lives.
Neff, K. D., Pommier, E. (2013). The relationship between self-compassion and other-focused concern among college undergraduates, community adults, and practicing meditators. Self and Identity, 12(2),160-176.
If I’m too kind to myself, I’ll lose my edge.
People who are self-compassionate are more motivated to keep trying because they have the inner tools to manage the pain of failure. They are also more apt to take risks.
Neff, K. D., & Rude, S. S., & Kirkpatrick, K. (2007). An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 908-916.
But self-compassion is weak.
Research shows that self-compassion is one of the most powerful resources we have available to us to remain resilient under intense stress and worry.
Mantzios, M. (2014). Exploring the Relationship between Worry and Impulsivity in Military Recruits: The Role of Mindfulness and Self-compassion as Potential Mediators. Stress and Health, 30(5), 397-404.
How self-compassionate are you?
"For someone to develop genuine compassion towards others,
first he or she must have a basis upon which to cultivate compassion,
and that basis is the ability to connect to one’s own feelings
and to care for one’s own welfare...
Caring for others requires caring for oneself."
Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama (2000)
Swept up in the dynamic stream of work challenges, health issues, and life commitments, self-care takes the back burner for many of us. This video shows what might be possible if we chose to care for ourselves with the same vigor we use in caring for our loved ones, our pets, our coworkers, and our dearest friends. THIS is why we practice. Tissue may be required. 🙂
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